Cwmderi Diary 2017: 1 September 2017

Diane is in a terrific hurry

Diane rushes into number 10 to give Anita a birthday card; she seems to be in a hurry, and does not have enough time to stay for a cup of tea. “Where are you going, dressed like that?” enquires Anita, and the reply is that if she comes to the Deri tonight, Diane will tell her everything.

"I don't want to celebrate!"

Anita refuses this offer, but Diane insists, “You’re only 60 once!” Anita will not change her mind, so Diane leaves, still in a tearing hurry.

She hears her name on the radio . . .

Then Siôn’s voice can be heard on the radio; “We have some greetings before the next song – and this one’s for a very special person – Anita Pierce.” Until she heard this, she was about to turn off the radio, but Siôn continues, “Happy 60th birthday to Mam, lots of love from Darren, Katie, Wil, Alys Eira and Lleuwen Haf.”

. . . publicising her 60th birthday . . .

She looks outraged,

. . . and turns off the radio

and then turns it off.

Colin admires Catrin's photographic work

Colin is looking at the photos which Catrin has taken with the new camera; “These are great –

"I prefer watching people to talking to them"

“you have a good eye,” he tells her, and she replies that she prefers watching people to talking to them.

"Izzy may have left a couple of books at Llwyncelyn"

“If you’re interested, I think that Izzy may have left a couple of books on photography at Llwyncelyn. I’ll see if I can borrow them.”

Then the buzzer sounds, and the doctor arrives;

"I haven't called him – have you?"

“Strange – I haven’t called him – have you?” says Colin.

Elgan wants a favour from Colin . . .

Elgan wants some help from Colin; he is organising a birthday party for Anita in the Deri tonight. Colin suddenly realises that she is 60. Elgan was hoping that Colin would come over and take a photo of her – and the surprise celebrity, who is quite famous.

"Don't think I'm available"

Colin replies that he is not sure if he is available, and someone might have to look after Aaron.

"Of course you are – Mam's not doing anything tonight"

Catrin overrules this, saying that Britt is not doing anything this evening, so Colin has no excuse.

Siôn regrets getting roped in

In the Deri, Siôn is wishing that the doctor had not involved him in this; Debbie asks, “Why is he doing this? Does he fancy her or something?” Siôn tells her Elgan has arranged someone to sing,

"She won't thank him for that!"

but Debbie predicts, “She won’t thank him for that – he’ll get a kick up the backside! Look at the way Vicky’s treated me, after all I’ve done for her. I have no idea where she is now.”

Siôn understands that Debbie threw her out, but she argues that she did not think that Vicky would disappear off the face of the earth. He is sure she will get in touch when she is ready.

Anita is furious with Siôn

Anita marches in, and furiously confronts Siôn; “Thank you very much for telling everyone I’m 60 today!”

"I was only doing my job"

He replies that he was only doing his job,

"Now you've made fun of me on the radio!"

but Anita goes on, “You came back from the Eisteddfod, and spread gossip about me, and now you’ve made fun of me on the radio!”

“Darren sent the birthday message in,” he advises her, but she is quite adamant that she does not want to celebrate her birthday, and struts off again. Debbie can see that tonight is going to be fun.

"Thanks for agreeing to do it"

In the surgery, Elgan is on the phone, thanking someone for agreeing to do this, then he calls over the intercom for his next patient.

Diane bursts into the doctor's surgery . . .

However, Diane bursts in, to inform him that she thinks they will have to cancel tonight. He objects to her just walking in, but she exclaims, “Anita doesn’t want to come to the Deri!”

. . . and the next patient is not happy about it

As Helen Lewis, the next patient, looks somewhat disapproving, Diane continues, “She’s so stubborn – I can’t spend all day trying to persuade her! The health and safety man is coming to APD today!”

"Look – I'll deal with it – OK?"

The doctor agrees that he will deal with it himself, and is eager for Diane to leave; however, before she finally makes her exit, she enquires as to the identity of this celeb, then apologises to the patient.

"These are just the thing, Gaynor"

“These are fab, Gaynor – do you think Izzy would mind me borrowing them?” Colin enthuses, and she replies that they are only gathering dust.

"I wonder if I need my passport"

She is packing some clothes into a bag, as Elgan has a surprise for her tonight, and she wonders if she needs her passport.

"No, I shouldn't bother with that"

Colin is concerned, and advises against taking the passport, as perhaps he did not mean a night away, but she is determined to pack anyway, although she would be happy with a romantic meal for two.

Colin takes the books and goes

He takes the books and goes.

Tony, the health and safety inspector, is welcomed back to APD, where Diane has bought some special biscuits for him;

"Chocolate Hobnobs!"

“Chocolate Hobnobs! We’ve made a real effort to get things right here,” she goes on, “Dai has built the gas storage exactly like you wanted it.” He goes out to check, and Diane promises, “If you’re a good boy, I’ll make you a cup of tea to go with the biscuits when you come back in.”

"Hark at her, going on and on!"

Dai looks disapproving of this,

The poor inspector is intimidated

and Tony appears, frankly, scared.

"You'll frighten him to death!"

“What are you doing?” demands Dai, “You’ll frighten him to death!” but Diane assures him she knows what she is doing.

"I'm using my charms!"

“I used my charms to get what I wanted long before you came on the scene,” she says, but Dai enquires in which century that was,

"You leave Tony to me!"

and insists that she leaves Tony to him.

Elgan wants Siôn to persuade Anita

Elgan has called Siôn to the surgery, and needs one more favour from him; “I need your help to get Anita to the party. Diane was supposed to do it, but she is up to her ears with the health and safety inspector.”

"She won't take any notice of me!"

Siôn protests that she will not listen to him, and even told him off for wishing her happy birthday on CwmFM. He enquires if the doctor is frightened of Anita, and suggests scrapping the idea, as Anita does not want to celebrate.

"But everything is arranged!"

Elgan points out that all the food is ordered, and that it was a job to get the mystery guest to agree to come.

"You've made your bed, so lie in it!"

Siôn tells him, “You’ve made your bed, so lie in it!” and leaves, with a smile.

"Have you heard the one about the butcher and the blonde?"

Dai harangues his visitor, and Tony is glad that he is going; “Have you heard the one about the butcher and the blonde?” enquires Dai, and Diana points out that Tony does not want to hear any more of his jokes.

"Come for a drink in the Deri"

Then Dai offers him a drink in the Deri, but he replies that he is driving, and that he is meeting a friend.

Tony points out that it sounds like bribery

“Look, I cannot accept food or a pint from you,” Tony tells him, “You wouldn’t want to be accused of trying to bribe an official. I will be in touch as soon as possible,” and beats a hasty retreat.

Gaynor is full of anticipation

Gaynor is sipping a glass of wine when Elgan arrives, and mournfully admits that he has a problem;

Elgan bewails the absence of the birthday girl . . .

“We can’t have a birthday party without the birthday girl.”

. . . which comes as a disappointment to Gaynor

As Gaynor appears puzzled, he explains, “It’s Anita’s birthday, and I have arranged a party for her in the Deri.

"There's a surprise guest coming as well"

“But she’s refusing to come – there’s a surprise guest coming too.”

"I though this was a surprise for the two of us"

She comes to the realisation that this is the surprise, and he emphasises that it took some doing, especially after the trouble with the car. “I thought you were arranging a surprise for the two of us,” she complains, and he says they can do something after the party.

"Friend to the world and his wife!"

“Unless there is a major crisis – and you, doctor and friend to the world and his wife, are called away to help out!” He thinks that he had better go, and she calms down somewhat, saying that she is just disappointed.

"Yes, I'm disappointed, too"

He replies that he is, too, and walks out,

Gaynor feels abandoned . . .

leaving Gaynor looking rather dazed.

. . . then decides she is going out

But then she picks up her car keys and handbag and goes out.

Anita looks at the envelopes, not the cards

Anita looks at the envelopes, containing her birthday cards, then there is a tap at the door. It is Gaynor, with yet another card,

"Why don't you come to the Deri tonight?"

and she apologises for upsetting Anita earlier in the week. “Why don’t you come to the Deri with me and I’ll buy you a drink, she suggests.

"Diane has already tried that"

“You’re wasting your time,” is the reply, “Diane has already been here – and I told her I’m not going anywhere near the place.” Gaynor predicts that she might be glad once she got there, but Anita demands, “What have I got to celebrate?”

"You've been a successful businesswoman"

Gaynor points out that she was a successful businesswoman, who has run a pub, has her own show on CwmFM, and brought up a family. “Yes, and now I work for Sara at Awyr Iach,” Anita answers,

"My only child lives on the other side of the world"

“The only child I have left lives on the other side of the world.”

Gaynor reminds her that she has not given up, as she started singing lessons recently, but Anita points out she made a fool of herself and everyone laughed at her.

"I don't have the guts"

Gaynor confesses that she would like to do something different sometimes – let her hair down, take a risk, but the truth is she does not have the guts.

“You’ve got every right to do what you want on your birthday – you’re welcome to stay here – or you can come to the Deri to celebrate.”

All the arrangements are collapsing round Elgan's ears

Already the Deri is full of birthday guests;

"Those sandwiches will be like cardboard!"

Dai comments, “If she doesn’t turn up soon, those sandwiches will be like cardboard!

Tony is sitting at a table with Debbie; he finishes his drink and tells her, “I needed that after the day I’ve had!” Then Dai sees him and gravitates in that direction.

"Remember that Ford Focus?"

It appears that Tony is an old friend of Debbie’s;

"I may be a lot of things, but I'm not a gooseberry"

Dai comments, “I may be a lot of things but I’m not a gooseberry,” and leaves the couple to their conversation.

"The flash is working fine, Colin"

Colin is worrying that the flash on the camera will not operate; Catrin assures him that it is working. Then Siôn suddenly tells everyone that she is coming,

Anita makes her entrance . . .

and as Anita walks through the door,

. . . and is greeted by a rousing chorus . . .

they all sing happy birthday to her.

. . . which does nothing to improve her mood

She stands there with a sour look on her face, and then turns to leave again, but Gaynor blocks her way.

"It's typical of you!"

Anita snarls at the doctor, “It’s typical of you to arrange something like this!” but he announces there is one more surprise.

"You don't look a day over 40!"

“Anita, is it?” says a stranger, Rhys Meirion, “I wasn’t quite sure – Elgan said you were 60 today but you don’t look a day over 40!”

Catrin captures the scene for posterity

As Catrin takes some photos, Debbie maintains that he looks younger than he does on the telly, and Diane says he is much more handsome.

"Who is he then?"

Then Debbie asks Siôn who he is; “He’s a famous tenor,” he replies, but she shakes her head. Rhys Meirion announces he is going to sing for Anita, who is quite overcome by the occasion.

Rhys Meirion serenades Anita . . .

As we hear his voice singing Anfonaf Angel (Send an Angel),

. . . while Gaynor is alone and downhearted

the scene shifts to Llwyncelyn, where Gaynor has returned alone.

Anita is quite overcome by her favourite song

“The late humming of the city wakes me,

For a second I believe you’re with me,

And I hear the quiet melody

Of your voice whispering softly.

I’ll send an angel to protect you,

I’ll send an angel to protect you tonight,

I’ll send an angel to console you.”

"It seems to have worked, Elgan"

Elgan and Siôn come to the conclusion that Anita is no longer angry, but is crying.

"Leaving already, Tony?"

Tony seems to be in a hurry to leave,

"Debbie will put in a good word for us"

and Dai thinks his friendship with Debbie could be very handy, as they could ask her to put in a good word for them.

Anita is given a hug by her idol

His song ended, Rhys Meirion comes forward and embraces Anita.

"It's one of the best birthday gifts I've ever had"

She turns to Elgan, and confesses, “I don’t know how you did that, but it’s one of the best birthday gifts I’ve ever had!”

Elgan coughs up the readies

Elgan takes £200 from his wallet to give to Rhys, who says he is sure there is at least another hundred in there, because it is for a good cause.

"Anita, why dont you sing a duet with him?"

Meanwhile, Colin is encouraging Anita to sing a duet with Rhys Meirion, but she considers that her singing days are over, calling upon Siôn for confirmation of this. Then she announces that the next round is on her.